Desperation
by totescraycrayconconbonbon
Summary: Chris Halliwell was desperate when he Hail Mary-ed to the past to save his brother. The sisters were desperate when they cast a spell to see if they could trust their whitelighter after months of silence from him. A Chris revelation fic! Reviews welcomed and appreciated!
1. Chapter 1

**After reading fics like this for years, I'm excited to embark on this fic of my own.**

 **Chris is a favorite character of mine, and I love the girls and Leo just as much. I JUST WANT THEM TO LOVE EACH OTHER**

 **This fanfiction will be set after Prince Charmed, when the sisters and Leo all completely distrust and dislike Chris (my HEART), and only gets AU from there.**

 **Also ignores Bianca. Not because I particularly dislike Bianca, I just… gay relationships make me so HAPPY, so I decided Chris needs to be gay? Sorry for the Bianca lovers, nothing personal, I'm just gay trash!**

 **OOC Chris, again, not for any particular reason, I just imagine Chris having this potential, you know?**

 **I do not own Charmed, I just love it.**

Chris Halliwell doesn't have the best luck. Or the best decision making skills, apparently. To be fair, with desperation comes desperate decisions, naturally, and if anyone is desperate, it's Christopher Perry Halliwell. Or, as everyone in this time knows him, Chris Perry. Desperate might be putting it lightly.

Chris had been desperate when his mom died. He had been desperate when he could see his brother drifting, giving into something that had been deep in himself his entire life. He had been desperate when his brother declared himself Lord Wyatt, Emperor of the _World_. He had been desperate when he formed the Resistance against Wyatt. He had been desperate as he watched every last cousin die. He had been desperate when he realized he was the strongest witch in the world, beside his brother. He would be expected to kill- or try to kill- Wyatt… Chris can't do that. No matter who he is now, who he's hurt or killed, that was Wyatt. That was the person who comforted him when his dad was absent, who stuck up for him, who laughed, played, and loved with him. That's his brother, his best friend. He can't kill him- but he could hail Mary.

Thinking of all the damage that had been done in his life, Chris realized that if he chose to try to save his brother, he could also save everyone else- in saving Wyatt, the entire world, his cousins, aunts, uncles, his _mother_ would get their live back. Desperate for this vision of peace and happiness, Chris makes a plan on the skin of his teeth, checking over his shoulder every second for Wyatt's demonic minions. He makes plans with the remainder of the Resistance, ensuring their survival in his absence, hoping he'll succeed so they'll truly be safe,

When he arrived in the past, Chris almost couldn't contain himself when he found his aunts and mom. They were so _young_ and _alive_. He opened his mouth to shout in joy, but stopped himself- if he told them who he was and why he was in the past, he couldn't be sure they would believe him. They could immediately shut him out, all but completely eliminating any chances of saving Wyatt. Or worse- they could believe him, but so much would change that the future would be completely unrecognizable. With this thought racing through his mind, Chris stuck with his original plan and told them he was a whitelighter from the future here to save Wyatt from a demon attack.

Their suspicion and dislike for him hurt him immensely, but they didn't know he was their little boy. Trying to be fair to them, he could concede to himself that he was, indeed, lying to them. He couldn't tell them the truth about the future- that could risk throwing everything into an even worse alternate reality than the current dark future. That didn't matter though. He was lying to his family. That makes him untrustworthy, by definition, no matter how pure his intentions are. Knowing this doesn't make it hurt any less. Even Leo's behavior is troubling to Chris. His father might have ignored him growing up, but he had never beaten him or been so scornful and angry at him.

The only thing that keeps him sane is his mantra that _these women aren't his family yet_ and _this is for a better future and for my older brother_. As he endured his family member's disdain and unwillingness to help him, he vanquished demon after demon. The less the sisters trusted him, the more he threw himself into vanquishing. He hardly slept or ate anymore, not that his family noticed or cared. Demons upon demons, he vanquished. Each demon vanquished that didn't change Wyatt's future made him more desperate. Finally, when his mom's birthday came, he had reached his breaking point.

Chris needed the future to be okay _w._ If he can't save Wyatt from evil, he can convince the sisters to bind his powers. Or manipulate them into it- he didn't even care anymore. His desperation led him down the wrong path.

When he was caught, he had to tell the sisters the truth. That didn't go well, either. Now, on top of his constant mantra, he heard his mother screaming that she never wanted to see him again constantly. With nowhere to go, Chris now both resides _and_ works in the underworld. He keeps his belongings in a strategically placed cave and vanquishes demons nearly constantly. Every few days, he stumbles into the cave to check his belongings, scarf whatever food he finds, and sleep for a few hours before roaring back to consciousness to repeat the cycle. His already bad condition worsened.

After a couple months of this schedule, Chris nearly looked like a skeleton and couldn't help but shake like a leaf constantly. His magic, though suffering through his abuse, was still stronger than the sisters' magic. His magic was the only thing keeping him alive. His dulled senses, however, did nothing for him.

A week back, he had pursued a demon after his longest stint without sleep ever. He hadn't eaten in days, or slept in more. This demon was Upper level, smarter than most. He tricked Chris's dulled brain and has been torturing him for information on the Charmed Ones and the Twice Blessed.

"Why do you defend them so? They've been nothing but horrible to you," the demon, Zorjiuut, croons, getting close to Chris's frail body, now covered in bruises, cuts, and scars.

"I'll always defend them. They could kill me, torture me worse than you have, spit on my grave, and I'd still defend them," Chris groans out, grunting in pain when Zorjiuut shoves his thumb in a cut on his shoulder.

"A pity," the demon sighs, "you're so beautiful… you'd look so pretty as my queen," he sighs again, throwing an energy ball at Chris's chest.

"One problem with that, Zorjy, I'm not evil and would make a horribly contradicting queen," Chris huffs out, not willing to give the demon the satisfaction of his anger or pain.

"We've been at this for a week, whitelighter," the demon grinds out, done with the back and forth. "I know not how you haven't already died from injury, but if I can't get answers out of you ,maybe you're worth enough to those witches to be bait, hmm?"

Chris chokes out a bitter chuckle. "Not likely- they hate me. Maybe you should just let me go? If you think I'm pretty now, just wait until you see me with some food in my body or sleep in my brain!"

Before Zorjiuut can seeth out an answer, Chris disappears in a swirl of white lights.

 _Oh my god, did he actually let me go?_

Chris groans when he slams to a carpeted floor, finally collapsing after the months of abuse to his body and recent torture.

"What the hell?!" he hears just before black floods his vision.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys! Sorry the update took so long, I'll try to keep a more regular update schedule!**

 **Also, a few people have expressed their dislike for Chris being the homosexual (lol) in this story. I truly am sorry that it ruined my story for you, but it is not something I find to be of poor taste or even slightly dislikable. I'm just having fun with this character I love so much, but I do understand if you don't continue to read the story. You do you, I do me, y'know?**

 **I do not own Charmed, but I do love it!**

When Chris had appeared in her attic, claiming to be from the future, Piper didn't know what to think. He seemed… familiar almost, but she couldn't place how. Something around his eyes, maybe the nose or the set of his jaw. She felt connected to him somehow, and this angered her even more than his actions did.

The whitelighter was vague and secretive about the future… about _her son's safety_ from some supposed demon attack. He constantly demanded her time to vanquish random demons who _might_ be the ones to hurt Wyatt. He was pushy and uptight, neurotic and so infuriatingly single-minded that she nearly screamed just at the sight of him, knowing what was coming.

On top of this, after Leo became an elder and was rarely around anymore, she couldn't help but blame Chris, not willing to face that Leo had made the decision on his own. Because of her underlying anger, every little brush off of their questions seemed like a large middle finger. Every "Future Consequences" clenched the snarling muscle in her gut a tiny bit more. Every secret he kept and lie he told sawed at her self control, which was screaming for action.

When Leo did come around, he was obsessed with Chris, with how untrustworthy he was and how evil he _had to be_. She trusted Leo more than she did some guy from the future, so her mind was somehow poisoned even more to the secretive young man. She was annoyed and frustrated whenever he was around, as whenever he was in her home, he was demanding action against some demon. However much she disliked his presence, his absence bothered her more. Where was he and what was he doing? After weeks upon weeks of random demon vanquishing, he seemed to be taking their hints, as he was rarely around the house anymore, asking for demon vanquishing. When he did show up to ask for them to vanquish a demon, he looks pale and tired- like he'd been at something for hours but would never tell them what it was he was up to. Was he making plans against Wyatt? Why should they trust anything he says? He seems precarious and dangerous.

Every time they did see him, though, he seemed more twitchy, more despairing, more unstable than the previous time they had seen him. It all came to a head on her birthday, when he had tried to enchant them to bind her son's powers. He then defends himself by claiming the evil he had come back to stop was her baby boy. Her _baby boy_. Chris claims her baby boy becomes evil and takes over the world, and that he came back to stop this from happening.

Enraged at his _obviously_ devious actions and lies, she snaps, screaming and threatening and shaking _so hard_. The moment the angry threats and demands leave her mouth, however, that same familiarity came hurling back, his eyes widening, nose scrunching, jaw clenching in a recognizable way. Hurt and anger flashed across his eyes, a face she'd never seen so desperate taking hold of him for a split second before he orbed away. His pained eyes stayed with her, pestering her in an unexplainable way.

It hadn't been nearly as satisfying as she had expected it to be to rid herself of him.

While it's true he wasn't around much toward the end, she still felt the whitelighter's absence everytime she looked at the book or exploded a demon that popped in during lunch. She felt a pang of inexplicable pain in her gut when her thoughts suddenly turned to him, to his pained expression, his tortured _familiarity_.

Piper couldn't think about it, though, about him. She couldn't think about him without feeling oddly guilty and it made her _furious_. What is so special about Chris Perry that she can't be angry at him? He was playing around with her son's _life_. She should be able to hate him in peace, dammit!

The months wore on, though, and he didn't peek his dumb face in her door once. He had evacuated her club, probably immediately after she kicked him out of their lives', so she had no way of knowing where he was residing. The further into his absence her and her family waded, the more and more she thought about him, about his eyes and nose and jaw and stubbornness and determination. He felt like he was someone to her, and no matter how hard she fought against the very thought of it, she couldn't say he was only the someone who had been manipulating and tormenting her family.

Around three months of silence was reached, and she had been fighting summoning him for a week now. No matter how infuriatingly not angry she was at him, she still didn't trust him. She couldn't. Not when her son was on the line. She doesn't believe her son could be evil, but that doesn't mean she thinks Chris is evil.

A month later, Piper's resolve broke and she went to the attic late into the night and just sat in front of the window. After a few minutes of silence, she called out for Chris.

"Chris?" she sighed at how small her voice sounded. "Chris?" she called out in a slightly stronger but much more emotional voice. She waited for a few minutes in front of the window, slumping further into the ground and feeling somehow worse than she had before her attempt at communication.

After waiting for an hour more, she got up and walked to the nursery, needing the comfort her baby boy will bring her.

The next morning, she woke up leaning on the bars of Wyatt's crib, her finger reaching through the bars and clutching his blanket. She groaned in pain, clutching at her shoulder as she made her way to the kitchen. An hour later, a gigantic, feast-like breakfast was laid out and Piper felt no calmer than she had last night. She sighed to herself and made her way to her bedroom, hoping her sister's would be awake by the time she was ready and had woken Wyatt up.

Re-entering the kitchen wearing fresh clothes and balancing Wyatt on her hip, Piper was relieved to see her sisters sitting at the table eating her stress-induced breakfast food.

"Piper, honey," Phoebe exclaimed when she noticed Piper enter the kitchen, "Why did you make so much food?"

"Not that it isn't amazing," Paige quickly cut in, holding bacon in one hand and a fork with a slice of pancake in the other, "because it really, _really_ is,"

"Is everything alright?" Phoebe inquired shaking her head with a slight smile at Paige's silliness.

"I'm worried about Chris," Piper ground out, feeling flustered but sounding resolved.

"Perry?" Paige asked, eyes widening and hands dropping, feast forgotten.

"Honey, you're… worried about him?" Phoebe asked, confused but not upset.

Piper sighed, feeling suddenly tired. "I just. We just haven't seen him or heard from him in months, you know? He's just a kid, really. A kid from the future with no money or place to stay," Piper continued, relieving herself of some of the worries and guilts she been burdened with.

At Phoebe and Paige's contemplative silence, Piper felt the need to clarify for her sisters.

"Don't get me wrong, I don't trust him- not for a second. My baby boy will _not_ be evil. Chris keeps too many secrets… but that day. My birthday, when I kicked him out… I'd never seen him so… hurt. Or angry. Or sad. Or desperate. He's keeping something from us- something big. He lied about why he came back and came up with another lie when he was caught manipulating us. I don't trust him… but I don't want him hurt either," Piper admitted for the first time out loud, he voice starting confidently but ending in a dejected whisper.

"There's always been something… familiar about him," Phoebe agrees, some relief coloring her voice. She's glad they're finally talking about him.

"You noticed, too?" Piper asked, relief swooping through her.

"Familiarity?" Paige asked, looking at her sisters like they're crazy. "I've never noticed anything familiar about him! I do think we all went a little too hard on him, though," she admits, guilt creeping into her tone, hunching her shoulders in discomfort.

"We should let him stay at the club again, at least," Phoebe agreed with Paige, nodding her head enthusiastically, glad to let the whitelighter back into their lives.

"I want to, Phoebe, I really do, but I need to think of my son. I don't know if I can trust Chris. I don't know if he can be around Wyatt," Piper admitted quietly, a confusing shame and guilt overwhelming her when she voiced this concern.

"So… we'll cast a spell!" Paige exclaimed, a grin brightening her face as she smacked her hands together in triumph.

"Sweetie, that's personal gain," Phoebe scolded, though half-heartedly.

"No, it's perfect," Piper says, anticipation filling every nook and cranny of her body.

Paige nodded enthusiastically, already running to check the book for any spell that might be useful.

"Maybe you should call for Leo, honey, if we're really doing this," Phoebe suggested gently, knowing the subject is a bit sore for her older sister.

Piper's immediate urge is to shout her rejection, but she takes a moment to think about it. While Leo wasn't in her or her son's lives as much as he should be, Chris was a definite sore subject for him. And this was about the safety of their son, which isn't to be taken lightly.

Piper sighed heavily, eyes slipping closed as she clutches Wyatt a little tighter to herself. "You're right."

Piper frowns lightly as she moves to the playpen and sets her baby down.

"LEO!"she waits a few moments before calling again. "LEO, WE NEED YOU! IT'S ABOUT CHRIS!" she added, knowing his suspicion will be aroused.

A few moments later, Leo orbs in, eyebrows clinched worriedly, eyes already taking on an angry gleam.

"Are you alright? Wyatt? What did Chris do?" Leo asks rapidly, eyes darting to the baby in the playpen, smiling slightly before focusing back on Piper, the suspicion clouding his face once again.

"Nothing, and that's the point," Piper said, frowning lightly, unconsciously matching his expression.

"What? He's lazing about?" Leo asks, slightly confused. "Is he even around? Didn't you throw him out months ago?"

"That's just it, Leo. Yes, I did throw him out, and I haven't heard from nor seen him since then. I'm just kind of worried about him, but we don't know if we can trust him to be around Wyatt, so we've decided to try to find a spell that will allow us to know if he can be trusted," Piper explained, speaking over any interruptions Leo tried to squeeze in.

"What, you want him back in our lives?" Leo asked, incredulous.

Piper sighed again, just as puzzled as Leo. "I don't know why, Leo. There's something about him… he feels familiar… and what I said to him, what I have said to him… It hurt him a lot. A lot more than it should, for how distrusting and grudging our relations have always been. I don't know how to explain it, Leo."

"... you thought he was familiar, too?" Leo asked, hesitancy clearly ringing through his words.

At this admission, Piper's puzzlement only intensified.

"... we need to find out if we can trust him," Piper says, shaking her head and moving to the attic.

"GUYS!" Paige exclaims when they all walk in, excitement clear in her voice.

"I take it you've found something?" Phoebe asks sarcastically, moving to Paige's side to read the spell to which the book was open. "Judgement."

"Judgement? That's all that's written?" Piper asks crabbily.

"It's called Judgement, the spell is underneath," Paige corrects lightly, not wanting to anger the impatient mother.

"What does it do, Paige?" Leo asks, seeing Piper's impatience ready to spike.

"It's… honestly kind of vague, but it says that it will allow us to judge that which we seek with the most valid source for us," Paige answered, a sheepish smile on her face and a light blush on her cheeks.

"Sounds great!" Piper agrees immediately, not caring too much for the vagueness but just wanting to be able to trust Chris.

"Wait," Phoebe interrupts, an unsure frown tugging on her mouth, furrowing her eyebrows. "Are we absolutely sure about this? Will this be an invasion of his privacy?"

"His privacy? His _privacy_? Phoebe, he's lied, manipulated, and alluded since he's gotten here. He cares not for our privacy, so why should we his?" Leo asks, a fire entering his voice that he had lost for a few minutes upon admitting Chris felt familiar.

"I agree with Leo," Piper says, moving to the book to stand with her sisters.

"Fine," Phoebe sighs.

They say the spell together.

" _There is one we cannot judge_

 _One for whom we hold a grudge_

 _We need to know- to discuss_

 _With a valid source for us."_

A few seconds pass and Piper is about to exclaim in frustration when a blinding light bursts in the room, taking form into a man. After a few seconds, the light fades and they are met with a familiar face.

"Leo?!" Pipe exclaims, looking wildly between the Leo who appeared in the light and the Leo who had been standing next to the podium.

Leo from the future's eyes widen and his jaw slackens. "Piper…" he breathes out in wonder, his lips tipping upward.

"Who- What- How?" Piper stammers out, pointing rapidly between the two Leo's panic clearly taking hold of her actions.

"Deep breaths, Piper," Future Leo soothes Piper, snapping out of his stupor to take in the situation.

"What are you doing here?" Phoebe asked Future Leo, confusion written on her face.

"I was going to ask you all that very same question," Future Leo chuckles nervously. "Though I am from the future, as you probably know."

"Do you know Chris?" Leo asked his future self, knowing this happened because of the spell the girls chanted.

"Chris? Of course! What are you-" Future Leo stopped abruptly, straightening and neutralizing his incredulous face. "What year is it?"

"2004!" Paige answered, both seriously weirded out but extremely excited.

"2004?! How do you all even know about Chris, let alone wondering why _I_ know him?" Future Leo asked, confused and increasingly panicked.

"How do we know Chris? You mean other than him hurling into our attic claiming to be from the future and that a demon is after our son?" Piper asks sarcastically, annoyed that this Leo seems to be tightening up just as Chris did when the future is mentioned.

"WHAT? He's here? In 2004? That's where he's been?" Future Leo balks, swaying as realization crashes upon him.

"So you do know him?" Paige says, raising an eyebrow.

Future Leo ignores this and turns to Piper and Leo. "Where is he? Is he okay? What has he told you?"

"Nothing, he's told us nothing! He's just been feeding us bullshit stories that Wyatt's going to be attacked by some demon, but he doesn't know which one, so he sent the sisters on endless vanquishes! He split Piper and I up by making me an Elder! And then, on Piper's birthday, he had the audacity to try to manipulate us into binding Wyatt's powers only to lie _again_ by telling us Wyatt _is_ the evil he came to stop from happening. We kicked him out and haven't seen him since," Leo is panting by the end of his explanation, anger radiating off of him at his future self's apparent lack of dislike for Chris.

Future Leo's jaw clenches and his nostrils flare in anger. His lips purse up and he has to swallow to contain the shouts raising up from his throats.

"How long ago was Piper's birthday?" Future Leo has to work to get each word out through his anger at his past self's lack of care for Chris or his safety.

"Four months ago," Phoebe quietly cuts in, her face twisted in a sorrowful frown, her eyebrows scrunched in frustration.

"FOUR MONTHS AGO?! AND YOU HAVEN'T SEEN HIM?! YOU DON'T KNOW IF HE'S OKAY?" Leo's anger finally gets the best of him, and he is seething with every word.

"I… I told him I didn't want to see him again… he moved out of the club's back room and he hasn't orbed in to use the book or the first aid kit or even for a piece of fruit," Piper explained, her stomach sinking when she realized that Chris means something to this future version of her ex husband.

All of the anger from Leo dropped as soon as he understood the implications behind Piper's words. Horror crossed his face and he felt himself sway in sorrow.

"Oh God… Oh God, we have to find him- have you tried summoning him?" Leo's sudden change in disposition startled the past people even more than his anger had.

"I've called his name a couple of times, but we haven't tried to summon him yet- we didn't know if we could trust him to be around our family- our book- my baby. It's why we said the spell that brought you here, to know if we could trust him so we could bring him back," Piper further explained, not understanding Future Leo's horror.

"Yes, yes, you can trust him. You _have_ to trust him. Summon him. Now!" Future Leo exclaims when he is only met by blankly shocked faces.

"No," Piper breathes, her anger quickly gathering in place of her desperation. "No. No, I refuse to believe that my baby can grow up to be the evil of all evils. If we trust Chris, we have to believe that that's true, and I just can't believe Wyatt would turn evil," she continues, anger and desperation mixing for a wild concoction.

"Well he can and he did," Future Leo says bluntly. "Now, summon Chris."

"How? He's the Twice Blessed, it's not possible for him to ever be _not_ good," Leo further questions his future self, not willing to believe Chris's exclamations.

Through clenched teeth, Future Leo grinds out, "Being Twice Blessed only gave him power- not inherent goodness or evilness. He is the most powerful being in existence and nothing can stop him, not now that he's turned to evil. Now, if one of you doesn't start summoning Chris, I swear, I will leave to find him myself. Summon. Chris. Right. Now."

Paige started to set up what is needed for a summoning when none of the others moved to follow Future Leo's demands, rolling her eyes and muttering under her breath about bossy elders.

"We would never let that happen!" Phoebe exclaims. Seeing that Future Leo had convinced his past self.

"We wouldn't," Piper agrees, still not willing to accept defeat as he ex husband had.

"Well it does happen. Obviously sometime around now, as this is where Chris decided to come. How long has he been here? He only disappeared from the future a couple of weeks ago, but you've already said months," Future Leo asks, calming somewhat when he sees Paige begin to summon Chris.

"About 7 months," Leo answers, deflated at the impending doom of the world at the hands of his toddler.

"Ready!" Paige calls out before Future Leo can answer.

Future Leo nods and moves to Paige.

" _Powers of the witches rise_

 _Course unseen across the skies_

 _Come to us who call you near_

 _Come to us and settle here_

 _Blood to blood I summon thee_

 _Blood to blood return to me"_

Paige chants, spilling her blood into the mortar.

White lights float around and congregate in a heap on the floor, solidifying to reveal their whitelighter… but not.

Future Leo gasps and immediately runs to Chris, hands held out to heal while the rest can only stare at the man on the floor.

The man- the boy- is frighteningly pale, though this is barely visible under layers upon layer of black, blue, and red- blood and bruises covering every inch of the skeletal frame.

"What the hell?!" Piper exclaims.

 **Alrighty, guys, this feels like a good time to stop this story chapter. These were just two establishing-the-story chapters- chapters after this one will probably be a lot longer lol**

 **This feels good so far, to me, but, please, review to leave your opinion below!**

 **I'll try to update again soon!**


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